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Silent tears flow down my face....
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[14 Apr 2005|09:41pm] |
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Sara Evans::Suds in the Bucket |
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Hey all im not really wantin to have a lj anymore so STOP LOOKIN IN HERE!!! lol luv ya all go see my xanga my username is Bleeding__Heart741....luv all!!!!</3Gweni
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[21 Mar 2005|11:05am] |
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mood |
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AFI::Silver and Cold |
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hey i havent updated in a long time......i hate my life man......im so out of it today....first day of spring break and im at home. I wanted to go see my horse but my ride(carly and ryan)is going to the mall with Cris. well there aint nothin to say....cya Lost and Lonely Gwen
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[07 Mar 2005|09:33pm] |
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mood |
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The Used::Take It Away |
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my song is better than yours! Well i feel cruddi so ill just leave you my song!
Korn::Hating
My life is such a waste
Begging on something to work this time
But why can't I relate?
Feeling all like who is scared?
What’s mine
Holding on to faith
Never gave me nothing but despair
So why do I create just to be swallowed?
I can't take
We have a star
I can't take
We got a fantasy
Come what may
We are the stars
I can't wait
I’ll take what’s mine
Believing all this time, before a crowd could side
Believing all the basics of everything that I could find
Believing all this time, too far to cross the line
Believing all the basics of everything that I could find
I cannot leave this place
Burning up inside this space of mine
Why can't I replace feelings I find hard to really find?
I try but I can't taste
Memories they always fuck with me
So why do I create just to be swallowed?
I can't take
We have a star
I can't take
We got a fantasy
Come what may
We are the stars
I can't wait
I’ll take what’s mine
Believing all this time, before a crowd could side
Believing all the basics of everything that I could find
Believing all this time, too far to cross the line
Believing all the basics of everything that I could find
All my feelings have been eating all of me
Feed inside
Is there something wrong with me?
I can't take
We have a star
I can't take
We got a fantasy
Come what may
We are the stars
I can't wait
I’ll take what’s mine
Believing all this time, before a crowd could side
Believing all the basics of everything that I could find
Believing all this time, too far to cross the line
Believing all the basics of everything that I could find
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| weekend |
[06 Mar 2005|08:38pm] |
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Usher"you make me wanna" |
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well this weekend was okay. i went to see Amber. alrighty i tell you my weekend!
Friday- I went to the moviez.....ran into my x and his friendz. I kissed him in the moviez....i regret it cuz i like him agian. But idk whats gunna happen now cuz i might go bak out with him but i dont feel like getting hurt like i did the last TIMES i went out with him. But idk....uhhh we hung out there and then Carly Ryan me and Hannah stayed at my house and went to bed kinduv early.
Saturday- Woke up tremdiously way too early. I took a shower and then got ready to head over to the barn. Got McDonalds for breakfast, got to the barn about 10ish. I shower my mom my horse's baby and then we walked up to the front....Amber was there and we got her ticket thingi to ride and went to shower her the baby. She might buy him but everyone is telling her not to buy a baby. idc but we rode....i rode Dunnit and she rode Diddit. We went out for flippin 3 hours! Surgio was saying i looked diffferant cuz i actually wore all my jewlery and make up shyt out there. Hes a WIERDO! We went to Amberz house and chilled. We took awsome pics and she got a flippin one of my ass im givin to ALex Bourner lmao. He'll love it! We went to bed early ccept the fact we had to go to church.
Sunday- Oh boring church awaited us! We woke up at stupid 9 in the flippin morning and we left at ten. He brother agued and didnt have to go lucky bastard. We wuz late to church so everyone stared at us walking in. We had to talk to people ewww! I sat there and was doodling on my phone and then Amber had to steal it so i listened to the dang paster for awhile. He was saying something about Viagra but idk wtf is rong with him. The we went to this old people resturant ummm Piccadilly's Buffet. Lovely right! Then we went to her house and at 4 went to Wally World and stayed for like an hour. Then they took me home....now im here! gosh wat a boring weekend!
I really love me weekendz! not.....</3Gweni
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| Poem i found on www.zenhex.com |
[01 Mar 2005|05:19pm] |
I've felt love.
For the very first time.
And once i felt it,
i couldn't let go.
I wouldn't, I couldn't,
And i still haven't.
Before you,
I told myself
I'd never allow to feel
the feeling of love.
But now it's too late.
To go back and change,
the unchangable.
Why did I do it.
Why did I love you.
I saw it coming,
the end of you and me.
But inside my head
I just went on
to ignore it.
You told me you would treat me right.
You told me that i deserved it.
Everynight you held me tight.
I wish you didn't.
I wish I'd never met you.
Or at least never allowe myself
to move so fast.
Those words you spoke
I'd never heard before,
And now you broke them,
you broke your promise,
and your trust.
Most of all You broke ME.
Why would you tell me the things that you did
when insde you knew
that they ment nothing to you.
It hurts me more than ever
to learn that you ment EVERYTHING to me.
But I ment NOTHING to you.
You hurt me more than i've hurt myself.
But now i've learned.
I've learned never to love
another again.
Some one
won't you please tell me
the point of love,
of relationships?
To get hurt, to feel lost,
To be broken inside and out?
You broke me.
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| Drowning |
[28 Feb 2005|05:56pm] |
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mood |
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confused |
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music |
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PapaRoach::Scars |
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I use to love the sounds of your voice.
But now you scream at me. I hate it.
You have inflicted pain upon my heart.
Your words crush me, from the inside out.
Like a wave pounding on my body.You dont mind.
So you say, Your not drowning.
But i am.
I use to love your touch.The sweet sensual feel.
Now you batter me. Like a beaten wife. I despise it.
Do i dare look at myself in the mirror?
The bruises? The burns? I think not. I hurt all over.
Slowly dieing mentally, in a pool of pain.
So you say, Your not drowning.
But i am.
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[27 Feb 2005|09:32pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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Papa Roach::Scars |
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Hey im bored kinda.This weekend was okay but i would have prefured to be at my mommiz house. I seen my horsie.Her baby(Buster)got bigger. His butt is like to my hip almost its so cute! But that day was pretty boring...my horse wouldnt go on trail...Dunnit was like rearing nd bucking when me and Hannah were gunna catch up with Ryan Carly and Katie but then we went back cuz i really didnt feel like fighting with him to go. I seen my old friend Bianca from Burnett. She rode sum horse that i forget the name of but i know i dont like that one lol. That night Ryan stayed over my daddiz and we didnt do anything. Then today we watched Saw....It was scary and we didnt finish the hole thing cuz we had to go back to my momz. I dont want to go to skool tomarrow....we have FCAT uhhhh it suxz big ballz lmao! i like my icon for this...I got sum wierd icons i got from this gurl in her xanga bout like suicide and shyt....their scary looking lol but im bored and im gunna take a shower so ill talk to yall peepz later! Love the ones who care Gweni
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[23 Feb 2005|06:51pm] |
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mood |
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chipper |
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Weeser::say it aint so |
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my friend sent this to me and i dont have much to say so ill just put it!
Cut me with your sharpest knife,
Cut me, i cant take this life,
Cut me because i cant feel,
Cut me and you'll make it real,
You hurt me in every single way,
So make it easier, use a blade,
To save you staring,
To save you glaring,
To save you acting like you care,
I wont feel a thing,
My heart aint there,
You make me feel..like NOTHING!
You make me cry in the darkness,
Something in you wants me gone,
Something in me knows,
You're not the only one.
Okay well love the ones who care....Gwen
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| feelin like shyt....tierd |
[20 Feb 2005|10:47pm] |
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Papa Roach::Scars |
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i got this off www.zenhex.com. its a poem by Genocide reaper.
A BLEEDING HEART
A beating heart, torn apart. By loves sadistic start. Stained by the evil of love. Burning inside and out. Burning to the ground. The blood floods the floor. The mind slowly withers and dies. The soul now has broken wings and will never fly. Darkness, covers her eyes! A victim, to vindictive vanity. A trampled whore, crushed under foot. She lost her perfect fantasy, she lost it all to a mad man ruled by his own vain insanity! A bleeding hearts triggers the tears that flood the floor, washing away the blood. Just like the Rose in the garden in winter, she slowly began to wither away. Bound by a sickness ever since that day. Never to trust, never to love again. Left with nothing but painful memories. That drove her insane.
i just felt it was a good poem so i put it in here! Love the ones who care like Shelly(love ya Sissy)! </3Gwenierz
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[19 Feb 2005|08:42pm] |
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music |
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Papa Roach :: Scares |
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What does your birth month reveal about you?
created by evilia
Your Results:
February
Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent andclever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislike unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.
take this quiz at www.zenhex.com
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[17 Feb 2005|08:39pm] |
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mood |
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bitchy |
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Butch Walker::Mix Tape |
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Hey yall im on the fone with AMBER! shes so awsome! Skool sux today...I was havin a little fun but still i could do without it. Well everything is cool with Nick cuz i was suposably talkin to his bro and this crap started and we're all cool now though.....I got an awsome new plannner lol! not really it looks the same but more passes! But i guess skool was okay at the end but for some reason i was dreading 6th. Right now im pissed cuz idk and w/e ill update tomarrow
Gwen
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[15 Feb 2005|08:18pm] |
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Butch Walker::Mix Tape |
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hey yall srry havent updated in a while....man i like Nick alot but i aint gunna ask him out and he hasnt done it yet so im starting to think he dont like me as much as he did. well im still not gunna go out with any one until i figure out wuts going on with him.....This week has totally sux. Monday,Valentines Day, fuckin worst day of my life and everyone is tryin to figure out why im pissed and why i hate this perticular
day. and today i just wanted to see what Kyra would say so i wrote her a note sayin i want to kill myself and she said no! well i still do want to but i told her i was jp. why do people not care? why would people not know the bad things but rather wait till they happen to actually figure it out.(well Shelly if your reading this dont take it that serious lol its just been a bad day.) Well ill let yall go Love ya much Gwen
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[12 Feb 2005|02:20pm] |
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mood |
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Jet::Cold Hard Bitch |
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hey yall.....Today me Hannah Carly and Ryan are gunna go to Bush Gardens.Its gunna be so fun since i havent been there in over a year or 2. I want Nick to go but hes goin to the movies and they dont want him to go.....uhhh im bored....Carlyz mom needs to get here! shes takin us to Ryanz and her neighbor is takin us to Bush Gardens. I want to go back to school alittle so i can go see my friendz........Other wise my school sux ass! Nick told me he loved me and i asked him if he ment it and he said kinduv.....Im happy lol.....Last night we didnt makeout at the moviez but its cuz he said it was wierd....my friendz were like staring him down....i understand though lol. No one took my damn quiz lol yall need to! well im gunna go wait for her momma see ya laterz Love ya much Gwen
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[11 Feb 2005|11:16pm] |
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mood |
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Andy Griggs::She thinks shes lucky |
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OMG i almost got caught smokin! my fricken Grandma walked out and was like "you girls get back in here right now!" omg my heart was beating a mile a minute! well im gunna go hang with the girl....</3Gwenierz
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[10 Feb 2005|09:02pm] |
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chipper |
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Andy Griggs::She thinks shes lucky |
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Answer Yes or No...
Nice?
Funny?
Pretty?
Cute?
Hot?
Mean?
Bitch?
Selfish?
Annoying?
Boring?
Attractive?
Perfect?
Crazy?
Weird?
Hyper?
Brat?
Conceited?
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[10 Feb 2005|09:02pm] |
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angry |
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Usher"you make me wanna" |
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A girl and a guy were riding a motorcycle; they loved each other. Girl: Slow down a little...I'm scared... Guy: No this is fun. Girl: No its not. Please, its too scary! Guy: Then tell me you love me. Girl: Fine, I love you. Slow down! Guy: Now give me a BIG hug. *Girl hugs him* Guy: Can you take my helmet off & put it on yourself? its bugging me. (In the paper the next day): A motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. 2 people were on it, but only 1 survived. *The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized that his breaks broke, but he didn't want to let the girl know. Instead, he had her say she loved him & felt her hug one last time, then had her wear his helmet so that she would live even though it meant that he would die.
i hope one day some one will care that much for me! </3Gwenierz
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[09 Feb 2005|06:23pm] |
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mood |
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cold |
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Shine Down::Burning Bright |
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Hey....havent updated in a while......I hate skool so much....the only good thing is i have at least one good friend....Kyra. Shes so awsome...she one of my well i guess you coudl say best friends...her and Nick are wut i look forward to at the end of the day lol...I really should break up with Grant cuz i do like him but it just isnt going anywhere....BUT im not using him....i do like him! i guess ill do that tomarrow if i can....i feel so bad cuz i hurt my ex....he cried and i felt so bad! but any way i just try to but idk if i can....well i gotta eat....my funnest thing to do! not well g2g luv ya much! Gweni
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[03 Feb 2005|05:39pm] |
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Post anything that you want here, and post it anonymously. A story, a secret, a confession, a fear, a love... anything. Make sure to post anonymously and honestly. Post as many times as you'd like. Then, put this in your LJ to see what others have to say.
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[02 Feb 2005|05:37pm] |
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bitchy |
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Butch Walker::Mix Tape |
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Well today sux cuz i was so mad but i wasnt really showin it....i hate wen i have to hide how i feel cuz of every one else! I really am mad all the time but i wont tell no one cuz the truth is i dont know why im this way....but n e wayz...Nickz going to the armwood basketball game i guess tonite....i would have gone but my mom wont take me....I was happy me actually asked me if i wanted to but my fuckin mom wont let me.....I miss having a man...wait i have one...oppz...well he dont act like it so im gonna break up with him....I feel bad about it but hey...he dont act any differant that wen we were just friendz....well i think ill go....no one readz any way....dont know why i have it....Love you much! Gweni
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| ~BORED~ |
[01 Feb 2005|08:16pm] |
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mood |
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chipper |
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Keane::Everybody's Changing |
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Hey yall....today i stayed home cuz i didnt feel good....I might break up with Grant soon cuz hes kinda boring but thats okay cuz someone likes him. Im not sure if he likes her though...i hope he does cause she really likes him. I like Nick Shoffner though...and it seems like he would be a better boyfriend for some reason...Its not that Grant isnt a good boyfriend its just i think i would like Nick better. But today i did absolutely nothing....Ryan(Martin) called me at like 12 at skool and was like"hey im bored are you?" lol she was in p.e. and her coach was on the fone to so she wanted to call me. Then later on Hannah and Josh got home and we hung out for a while...Then Ryan came over and she just now left...her mommi was pissed! I want to actually go to skool tomarrow cuz it was so boring not seeing anyone all day but in a way it was good. I like to be by myself so i dont have to be a certian way for anyone. I dont like to be a certian way but it just turns out that way.... well i think ill go....luv ya much Gweni
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